Stress isn’t all bad. How you think about it makes the difference.

Half the world is enduring some form of Covid-19 experience; some devastatingly bad, some extremely positive, most in the middle somewhere. For different reasons, a common reaction is stress.

Covid aside, stress is a regular problem for many people.

By stress, we mean our response to those things that demand we respond in some way. Any threat we face is a stressor, whether it’s large or small, real or imagined, and whether it’s immediate or future. The way we react is called stress.

Of itself, stress is neither good nor bad, and most of us need some to function well. Not enough and we’re bored and unproductive. Too much and we go to pieces.

For example, some people deliberately put themselves under enormous stress by jumping out of aeroplanes. For fun. Others compete in high-pressure situations for fun.

Those things could excite or terrify you. While the physiology of stress is pretty consistent across people, our understanding and thinking about stress can be incredibly varied.

As Brothers and Sisters, we have another perspective to add, which can provide enormous benefit for life in the Truth.

Why is stress hard?

We often perceive stress as bad. It’s not necessarily so.

Take Goldilocks. You’ve probably read it or at least know the story.

The key principle with the porridge, the chair, and the bed is, not too much, not too little, but just right.

It’s the same for stress.

The Goldilocks principle says that we need stress to function well. Not too much. Not too little. We’re looking for just the right amount to allow us to manage optimally.

Somewhere around the mid-range of stress is perfect.

Of course, what defines mid-range is different for everyone, and the things that cause one person stress barely get someone else off the couch.

For example, public speaking is the number one social phobia. The idea of speaking in front of a group causes some people immediate and severe stress. Others, even with only a little practice, hardly break a sweat.

Yet the same confident public speaker may absolutely fall to pieces if asked suddenly to cook for 20 people because some visitors arrived, or prepare a budget by 9.00 am tomorrow.

So stress can be hard, simply because we’re unpractised. Maybe we also fear judgment from others, don’t want to be embarrassed, lack confidence or expertise, have low stamina, have a low threshold for stress, feel easily overwhelmed, or just have too much to do in a short time and fear we’ll let people down or deliver poor quality.

It’s also normal.

You’re not defective because you may be stressed. And to be clear, situations like post-traumatic stress disorder, which is a normal response to an abnormal situation, would also not be your fault. Unfortunately, it’s also outside the remit of this article.

But you do have an influence over stress. It need not control you.

What kinds of things cause stress

As we just said, stress is a peculiarly individual experience. What causes me stress may not cause it for you, and vice versa. Equally, the amount of something may cause me stress but not you, given I may have a different base threshold than you.

And there are many possible causes of stress.

Common stressors include things such as:

• Job-related stress (being unemployed, too much work, toxic culture, difficult boss, starting a new job etc)
• Financial concerns
• Relationships, including conflict, getting married, bereavement, difficulties with children/parents/siblings
• Health, including chronic illness or injury, sick relatives
• Moving house
• Major traumas

It’s useful to separate out daily hassles. These could include small disruptions to routine and, generally, minor annoyances. Maybe you got cut off in a queue. Maybe you spilled your coffee. Perhaps you were a minute late dropping off the kids. Perhaps you had to stop for a red light. You get the idea.

We tend to get over hassles quickly but, unless our general approach to all stressors is sound, hassles accumulate and the cumulative effect can be just as detrimental as larger stresses.

Here’s why.

The basic stress response

The physical stress response is extremely well understood and, as we said before consistent across people. There are some gender differences and cultural differences in how stress is experienced and expressed (which we may discuss in a later article), but the initial reaction is similar.

We all produce adrenaline in reaction to an immediate stressor, as part of the fight-flight system. You’ve probably heard of it. This is intended to ready us for action, by directing blood away from our internal organs and towards our large muscles, increasing our heart rate and breathing, dilating our pupils, halting digestion, and stopping excretion. It energises us to do something immediate.

When the stress appears to have reduced, our nervous system restores the pre-stress levels. Pupils constrict, heart rate and blood pressure drop, digestion and excretion resume, and blood flows back to the internal organs.

If the stressor is something more drawn out, such as ongoing financial problems, bullying, or a pandemic, we produce cortisol rather than adrenaline. This has the effect of slightly raising our heartbeat, blood pressure and respiration for a much longer period, over days, weeks, months, and years, to enable us to manage this prolonged stressor.

Over time, we adapt to this new level of stress, and this becomes our new normal. But as the stressor lasts into months and maybe years, our heart rate continues to increase, as does our blood pressure and so forth, each time leading to a newer normal.

As we put our bodies under increased pressure like this, it’s inevitable that something will give. There are many physical problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and weight gain, that result from stress, along with psychological considerations like anxiety and depression.

The trick is not to avoid stress, but to understand it and manage it.

Why stress is good for us

There are three key elements in managing stress.

These are:

1. the sense of control we feel we have
2. whether we wanted the stress, and
3. whether there is meaning in it.

To touch again on an earlier example, think of what it’s like to skydive. Maybe you’ve even done it.

You willingly jump out of a plane (wanted stress) with a fully functioning parachute you know how to use (sense of control) to experience the thrill and sense of achievement (meaning). It’s not stressful, it’s exhilarating!

By contrast, if, perish the thought, you fell out of a plane (unwanted stress) without a parachute (no sense of control), this would be significant stress. You might struggle to find meaning in it, too.

Same basic events, markedly different outcomes, and substantially different perspectives.

Let’s take these in turn.

If I invite stress, if I’m a willing participant in it, I tend to not call it stress. I call it adventure, or excitement, or exhilaration, or challenge, or something. I immediately reframe what are exactly the same feelings someone else has, and label them differently. I may react the same way physically, but entirely differently psychologically.

A sense of control allows you to feel as if you can do something. At a simple level, if a pot is boiling over you can take it off the heat. Yet this could be stressful for someone who didn’t know what to do and for whom things felt out of control. Control means I may be able to manage the circumstances to a degree.

Lack of control is at the root of all anxiety-related concerns.

Of the three, finding meaning is probably the most critical, for it helps us understand it better, even if the circumstances are otherwise stressful. Sometimes, the meaning can be mundane; at other times, profound. Either way, the meaning needs to be relevant.

There’s probably no better meaning than that prescribed in Hebrews 12v6, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth”.

Our Father uses trial to shape us and sometimes other people. It’s for our benefit. While we can get caught up in wondering whether the lessons are for us, or for someone else, the key issue is to ascribe the meaning that challenges in life can teach us, regardless of who the lesson may be for.

For example, Job suffered enormously. Let’s imagine that the stress Job suffered was only for the benefit of the Satan, or Job’s friends. Job, too, could learn from his circumstances and take the attitude that whomever the ultimate lesson is for, he could learn from it for himself. He could see it as: the Father’s love to chasten us and learn the power of Yahweh, humility in dealings with others, gratitude for blessings, and wonder at Yahweh’s magnificence.

Together, this mindset of wanting stress, control, and meaning, can turn stress into something more positive.

Scriptural examples

The Word has many examples of people facing stressful situations.

Think of Peter during the events of the night before the Passover, or Elijah on his way to confront Yahweh. There’s the widow of Zarephath about to starve to death with her son, or Mary Magdalene in grief over her Lord.

Many, many times we read of personal struggles. Further, there are many times we read of personal failures.

It’s a reminder that in our mortal frame, we’re not alone in our weaknesses. Our Brothers and Sisters have struggled with the same things we do, for centuries. Consequently, their stories and triumphs are compelling reading.

Similarly, we can take comfort from the fact that although our struggles are real and present for us, our Father has seen them before.

Underneath them all is the bedrock of faith that helps us through all trials.

There are some useful things we can all do.

5 things to do

If it is the Father’s will that circumstances try us, then it is imperative that we submit, and not fight. Our mindset is important here. We are doing things not in our own strength but prayerfully if Yahweh wills it. And, not to fit Yahweh into our way of thinking, but note how we follow what He has established.

• If we accept God’s will, then we willingly accept what He teaches us
• If we accept that Yahweh is in control, it allows us to feel in control too.
• If we accept that Yahweh chastens us in love, He provides all the meaning we need.

And for day-to-day actions, some things are probably obvious, but here are the top five.

1. Look after yourself. Sleep, exercise, and nutrition are all important. Sleep is perhaps the most underrated and most beneficial thing we can do.
2. Avoid substances. Caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol impact our ability to deal with stress.
3. Talk about it. Use prayer to communicate with the Father, and use relationships with others. Ask for help. Equally, help others (Gal. 6v2).
4. Manage life’s inbox. Say “No” to things if you really can’t help. Delete what’s not useful. Prioritise what’s left. Manage your time accordingly.
5. Use relaxation tools. Mindfulness, meditation, prayer, and breathing techniques are all effective.

Finally, recognise that we’re mortal and imperfect. We are supposed to struggle at times and experience trial. But know that Yahweh is our Rock, and as Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10v13:

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”